Tips/MTF

From Transsexual Support

Contents 1 Coming Out to your Gay Boyfriend 2 Hair Removal - Epilation (Rotary Shaving) 3 Hair Removal - Waxing 4 Living Safely in your New Gender Role 5 What Not To Take To SRS and Other Good Tips

[edit] Coming Out to your Gay Boyfriend

As far as coming out to your gay boyfriend is concerned:

The key word is patience.

Patience, patience and MORE patience.

It will be a bit of a mind-jolt and it will take time for him to get used to the idea.

Remember that if you\'ve been in a relationship with this person for a number of years, they have gotten used to you as a guy, calling you by your \"guy name\", etc.

Don\'t expect him to start using the proper pronouns or call him by the name you wish to be called immediately.

I can\'t overly emphasise the importance of letting him clearly know that you will always be the same person he fell in love with regardless of whatever way your body changes.

This will be one of the more difficult things because you\'re dealing with your significant other\'s mental \"hardwiring\". As a gay male, they will naturally be attracted to other men, especially sexually, so sexual dynamics in the relationship will also change.

Hopefully the relationship is built on more than just what happens in bed. If this is the case, then probably compromises can be reached when it comes to intimacy and you might be able to figure out things that are mutually pleasing.

Above all, remember! PATIENCE. Cut your man a generous amount of slack.
\'\'Contributed by Stephanie (10/5/2004)\'\'

[edit] Hair Removal - Epilation (Rotary Shaving)

Hair removal is endless and annoying. Epilation (rotary shaving) is probably the most painful and cheapest hair removal technique.

The picture on the left shows the epilator\'s \'blades\', which grab the hair and pull it out (as in waxing). Unlike waxing, which pulls out hundreds of hairs at once, an epilator grabs the hairs one by one (or four by four) and yanks em out of the skin, which is PAINFUL and sometimes rips the hairs in half. The advantage of epilitory hair removal is that it can grab even extremely short hairs, which waxing cannot, and also is cheaper (no need to buy more wax, strips or razors). The disadvantages are that it hurts more and the hair tends to come back quicker. Any ad that says that it\'s painless or nearly painless is a lie.

The picture on the right shows a recently epilated forearm. The redness should dissapear overnight, so don\'t do it before you have to go out.
\'\'Contributed by Naomi. (10/8/2004)\'\'

[edit] Hair Removal - Waxing

Hair removal is endless and annoying. Waxing is probably the longest lasting technique for longer hairs (say .5\" or a bit less). It can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, depending on the person.

Gettig the waxing supplies:

Strips: These are typically synthetic cloth or paperish strips of white material, which you put on the wax. These typically come with little sticks for applying the wax to your body. Make sure you have these, but if you\'re all out you can use a butter knife or something (make sure it\'s not sharp!). Get double what you think you\'ll need. Better to have extra than to run out in the middle.

Wax: I prefer the microwaveable waxes, often called \'Cold Wax\'. You\'ll need to warm this up first (follow the instructions on the package). Remember, ants love leg wax so don\'t leave any on the ground. Also, it\'s sticky as hell so make sure none gets on stuff and ESPECIALLY not on your bed or couch! Get double what you think you\'ll need. Better to have extra than to run out in the middle.

Apply the wax with your stick, as shown in image 2. Apply it in the direction that the hair is growing (in image 1 the hair is growing towards the ankle so I\'m applying the wax in a downwards motion, as shown in image 2).

Put the strip on the skin (image 3). Press down on the strip as shown in image 4, in the direction the hair is growing.

Grab the strip from it\'s end (on the bottom of the leg, in this case) as shown in image

Grasp the whole end of it, not just a corner, as waxing strips tend to tear, and that\'s ANNOYING.

Now, RIP it off. YEEEEEOWCH that hurts! Don\'t worry, it\'ll hurt less next time. Feel your now smooth skin. If there are still a few hairs left, don\'t worry. We\'ll catch those with our epilator AFTER we wash up. Not before we wash up, unless we want to ruin a perfectly good epilator!

Look at the underside of your strip. Scary, no?

Work over both legs. Some areas will hurt more than others, so beware. Also, remember that 99% of the pain is in the first split second after waxing, with some possible minor stinging after a bit. As for the back of your legs, look to make sure which way the hair is growing. It can vary back there, or even grow in two directions in one area! The areas behind your knees and on the bottom of the thigh are the hardest (and the primary reason why people pay professionals to wax them). Standing up, twist your body and apply the wax to the back of your leg. Then apply the strip in the direction the hair is growing. RIP it off. There you go.

Now your legs are all smooth... No, wait! Bumps! These red bumps should dissapear in a day... or two. Always wax 2 days before an event, just to be safe. Shaving is what you do in emergencies, as it leaves no mark (besides the occasional cut).

Go take a warm bath or shower. Also, your legs WILL be itchy. Scratch and enjoy!
\'\'Contributed by Naomi (10/9/2004)\'\'

[edit] Living Safely in your New Gender Role

The obvious first: We ARE vulnerable. Carry an electric panic alarm - make sure it works by testing it every few months - and make sure it\'s LOUD and SHRILL. This carries better. Don\'t walk in dark area\'s if you can avoid it. Stay in well lit streets. Check into dark alleys before you pass them. Don\'t go out without letting someone know where you\'ll be going - this is standard safety stuff for all girls. MEMORISE IT - it\'s important.

If caught in a dark place, and I know it\'s sometimes unavoidable, keep alert, avoid large groups of people, and try to avoid the more obnoxious drunks.

if you do get cornered, try to get away. break their grip, push them away and RUN. Your feet are your friends. abandon your shoes, your bags, everything. But run away.
\'\'Contributed by Kathy (10/4/2004)\'\'

[edit] What Not To Take To SRS and Other Good Tips

1. Your car - get someone else to transport you as you\'ll not be fit to drive for at least a month post.
2. More than 1 big book. Trust me, you\'ll be so far out of your head for most of your time there the world will be spinning
3. Too much clothing, you\'ll only have to haul it around, and you\'ll be in bed most of the time anyhow.
4. cigarettes, if you smoke, buy some nicotine patches for the duration of your stay, you own\'t be out of bed for at least 3 days post.
5. Lots of food. Once you get in, you\'ll be on liquids only until the op, and no food at all for at least 12 hours before surgery. Keep a few snacks that will keep for when you\'re allowed food again. I recommend eating a nice lunch before you go in, as it\'ll be out of your system before you know it :)
6. Don\'t wear nice underwear to your check in, it\'ll get messed up.

Things they may forget to tell you to bring

1. Lots of underwear, and ones you don\'t mind getting messy
2. a bath robe
3. your favorite bathing balms and lotions
4. a good razor and cream - You have to get rid of the hair down there, so make it one of those no-nick blades
5. A tube of lubricant - KY jelly, aquagel or the like, just in case you need some to hand
6. Space in your bag to hold the things they\'ll give you
7. A tv listings magazine in case there\'s not one there
8. A walkman with your favorite music (and lots of it) and plenty of batteries
9. a credit card or cash to settle the phone bill
10. The numbers of all your friends (not stored on a cellphone like I did...)
11. lots of people wanting to visit you - it\'ll get hellish dull in there stuck in bed for 3 days alone.
    

\'\'Contributed by Allison (7/20/2004)\'\'