Tips/General
From Transsexual Support
[edit] General Tips
[edit] In Search of Advice on Starting to Transition
This might not be good advice for others, but what I discovered for myself, is that transition was not about trying to act or become something else (male, female, androgyne). It was more about accepting the fact that it is OK to be myself. There is no effort required. Just behave, dress, speak and exist in a manor that is comfortable, not requiring any real effort to maintain.
If you have to study some one else, in an effort to be something else, then you are still not finding out who You really are. By learning to know yourself, you can grow and relax at the same time. You are not going to be like any other man or woman on the planet. you are a beautiful and glorious miracle in and of yourself. Just be free to be yourself and let everyone else sort out their own foibles.
\'\'Contributed by Amber (12/25/2004)\'\'
[edit] I\'ve Been Groped!
Sadly, this is something most women have to deal with at some point, and most FTM\'s before transition. I\'ve found that the best way to handle it is to simply take hold of the bastard\'s wrist and physically remove it from your body. This doesn\'t always work, of course. Usually this kind of stuff happens in a crowded place, such as a club or on the bus/subway. Nobody wants to make a scene, and s/he\'ll be counting on this. Emberassing as it may seem, try this: whirl around and yell \"KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF, BUDDY.\" Naturally, this won\'t really work in a club, as the music will be probably be too loud for anyone but the three or four nearest people to hear. In a public place such as a bus, though, such tactics work well. The groper can\'t respond with violence, as it\'s a crowded place and no one will put up with a fight. S/he can respond by yelling back at you, but most people won\'t believe him/her anyway, and odds are he\'ll know it. Odds are s/he\'ll just try to dissapear. Remember: It\'s YOUR BODY, and touching you sexually without your consent is the same as rape, simply at a lower degree. It may happen to nearly all women, but that doesn\'t mean it\'s alright. Make a scene. Fight back. Don\'t let them take your power away.
A couple days ago I was out dancing in a gay/lesbian club, and some guy started feeling me up, rubbing up against me. I turned around and grabbed his shirt collar. I pulled his head down to my height (I\'m a real shorty). Now, this guy was three times my size, but I had done something TOTALLY unexpected. I had RESPONDED. I had FOUGHT BACK! I SCREAMED into his face.
- Me: \"DON\'T FUCKING TOUCH ME AGAIN!\"
- Him: \"I didn\'t touch you!\"
- Me: \"NICE TRY, ASSHOLE! NEXT TIME YOU TOUCH ME I\'LL BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU. GOT IT?\"
- Him: \"Ye...\"
- Me (interrupting): \"GOT IT, ASSHOLE?\"
- Him: \"Yes!\"
- Me: \"DO YOU WANT TO BE THROWN OUT OF THIS BAR?\"
- Him: \"No!\"
- Me: \"IF I SEE YOU EVEN NEAR ME AGAIN I\'LL HAVE YOU KICKED OUT. YOU THINK I\'M BLUFFING? TRY ME!\"
- Him: *stammer*
- Me: \"NOW GET LOST! STAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CLUB FROM ME. IF I EVEN SEE YOU NEAR ME AGAIN, YOU\'LL BE FUCKING SORRY!\"
He pretty much ran. Now, this guy could easily have beaten the crap out of me, but I won the confrontation. How? I made a scene. Try it (but ONLY in a crowded public place... anywhere else and s/he might just kill you!).
\'\'Contributed by Naomi (10/3/2004)\'\'
