Stories/Lady Di
From Transsexual Support
\'\'\'Lady \"Di\"\'\'\'
\'\'By Joanna Rathbone\'\'
\'\'Deakin University Journalism Student\'\'
The primary school is located in a quiet, middle class suburb of Perth. It is 2.40pm, parents are milling around outside their children\'s class room waiting for the home time bell to ring. Outside one classroom there is a large group of parents hanging around. Some are there to collect their children, most are not.
Sitting alone, trying to be oblivious to the stares and sniggers directed at her, one parent knows that they are there to look at her. She sits alone and stares at the ground ignoring the vicious tongues and the open looks of disgust. Just like any other parent she is there to collect her children, the only difference being \"she\" is a \"he\".
Diane S, 43 is a transsexual. She is neatly dressed in black slacks and a beige top that covers her developing breasts. Her finger nails are painted a bright shade of red, red toe nails poke out of her open toed sandals. Her make-up is subtle but noticeable. She wears sunglasses, do they hide her pain or anger at the hostility that surrounds her? Diane smiles warmly and in a soft, feminine voice, she willingly tells her story.
\"I was in the WA Police Force for 25 years and I was also part of the Tactical Response Group (TRG). I did all the macho things, something quite common with people like me. When I was a recruit in 1978 I was told to develop a ‘thick hide\' and to keep my private life ‘untarnished\'. I did both of these. My work mates did not know my thoughts, no one did. I became reclusive and introspective with regards to my family and personal life.
Diane left the Police Force in October 2003 due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and has nothing but praise for her colleagues.
\"Contrary to popular opinion, the police force is not a large homophobic organisation. There are homophobes in it, but the majority of officers are accepting of anything as long as it does not affect your professional ability\".
\"I have not been shunned by one former work mate. The ones I have met since coming out are full of support and admiration for the courage I have shown for following my heart\".
For as long as Diane could remember, she has had feelings of something not quite right. This is a common trait amongst transsexuals. \"I was not concerned about it until I reached puberty. When I was a young age, I did not know what was wrong, other than not feeling quite right. All I could put it down to was, I liked being around girls and the feel of ‘girlie\' clothes.
Sydney transsexual, Yamana Bradford (36) tells of her experience. \"I started dressing in girls clothes at 12, because that\'s how I saw myself, as a girl. I was 15 years old when I became educated enough to understand that there really was something wrong with me and I was not just playing make believe\".
Diane\'s presence at school has caused mixed reactions, the majority are negative. Transgenderism or gender dysphoria is relatively unknown to most people. Many of us would go through life never knowing the meaning of the word transgender, let alone having contact with a transsexual or transgender person. This lack of exposure or education may be the main reason for peoples hostility.
\"You read about it, you see it on television, you don\'t expect it to happen in your school. This isn\'t America\", says one parent, Anne* (34).
\"I am fine with what he is doing, but I don\'t agree with him doing it at school\" says Jennifer*, 32 \"The thought crossed my mind that he was a sexual deviant. If he can do this what else is going through his head. I\'m not saying he would, but it crossed my mind\".
Anne agrees \"I\'m not fussed with him coming to school as a women, he has to expect that kids are going to be cruel. It came into my mind that he was a paedophile, but he\'s not hanging about school. You would think twice about letting him look after your children\'.
\"Each to their own\" says Sylvia* (23) \"I have no problems with cross-dressers but its not appropriate to wear dresses to school. Parents are laughing at him. If I was the girls\' mother, I wouldn\'t allow him to pick up the kids. I\'m not concerned that he is a sexual deviant, but I would not send my daughter around to his house to play\".
A report by the Parliamentary Joint Committee on the National Crime Authority (Nov, 1995), indicates most perpetrators come from within the family or where paedophiles enter into the family relationships to gain access to their children.
Yamana confirms this common perception. \"I am a transsexual, unfortunately this is the first thing a person will take note, the word ‘sexual\'. This puts us behind the eight ball from the start\".
Like all transsexuals, Yamana has faced a lot of prejudices especially when she first started her transition.
\"It was particularly noticeable from older females. I guess this came from fear. I am a qualified nurse and some patients due to religious beliefs ask that I not have any input into their care. And males would request that I stay away for fear of me ‘touching\' them\".
Yamana is in the last stages of her transition and says these days she is rarely noticed for who she is.
Diane has also faced this common misconception. \"I came out in a public forum. I was reported to the Child Abuse Unit by my ex-wife, but after an investigation I was cleared of any misconduct\'.
\"I have been dragged through the family court to try and stop me having access to my children. The courts tried to stop me cross-dressing, luckily my lawyer advised the judge I was a transsexual undergoing medical treatment and to do this would be a breach of my civil liberties\".
Margaret Jones, from TransWest (a support organisation for Transsexuals/Transgender and their families) elaborates on mainstream society\'s myths and misconceptions \"The main myths are, trannies are mentally ill and need psychiatric care, they are all suicidal, 97 per cent of Male to Female (MTFs) are sex workers, they are drug addicts. Half of MTFs are gay males, the other half are so into women the want to be one and all they can do is play with themselves, they should not be around children or bring them up and last but not least they are a threat to the world. Margaret adds \"Personal experiences differ greatly, some transsexuals suffer the most horrendous social difficulties, like being beaten up so badly you wonder how they can still be alive\".
Gender dysphoria or Transgenderism for most transsexuals is not a choice, for who would choose the life of victimisation, ostracism and the constant threat of brutal beatings or worse murder. For them it is a case of being born into the wrong body. Their life is a constant struggle for acceptance. So what does transgender mean? The most common definition of transgender and one given by the Gender Centre Inc based in Sydney, is \"someone who wants to live as a member of the opposite gender to their birth gender\". A common fear that envelopes mainstream society and leads to myths and misconceptions is transsexuals do not conform to mainstream society\'s ideology of what is male and what is female.
To most, it is simple, if we are born male then we are male and if we are born female then we are female. Transsexuals challenge this gender concept and many in society feel uncomfortable and fearful of this challenge.
\"It has nothing to do with sexuality\" says Diane \"it is about a persons essence, not their sexuality\". Diane is one of fortunate ones. She is lucky enough to have a family who are supportive of her transition. \"My sisters and their family have been great, they fully accept me\" she says \"Mum and Dad were shocked, but they had been contacted by my ex-wife earlier and were told I was a homosexual cross dresser. They are finding it some what difficult but are accepting. They are also praying for a miracle that I change my mind\".
Not all transsexuals have the support of their family. As was the case with Yamana Bradford. \"I have been disowned by my family and am not recognised anymore. When I started my transition I moved interstate to start afresh\".
Diane has two daughters aged six who she says accept her for what she is \"They think its funny but they know I will always be their dad and I will fulfil that function to the best of my abilities\".
\"My ex-wife used them as pawns in a vicious game to embarrass me\" Diane says \"they have been subjected to psychiatric examinations and police interviews. Luckily common sense and medical evidence shows that they are at the age to be introduced to dad\'s female persona\".
Diane has not faced her transition alone, besides her family\'s support she has the support from her cousin and partner Barbra.
\"Barbara has been good for me as I have been for her. We are very comfortable in each others presence and there is nothing I fear to tell her\". \"Barbara is a former ‘Revue Dancer\' her favourite quote of mine is ‘half the girls I danced with used to be boys!\' She is the most liberated uncomplicated and giving human being I have ever met. Without her life\'s philosophies my ex-wife would have succeeded in driving me to suicide. My ex-wife is the only person who has ever shown me hate. I understand her bitterness but not her hate. Her crime was to use our children as pawns in her attempt to destroy me\".
Diane shrugs off any animosity directed towards her \"There is nothing people can call me or do to me that has not already been done or said during my time as a police officer, I have a very thick hide\". \"I see the parents at school sniggering and giggling, but I don\'t care. The school itself has shown nothing but support for my transition. I was straight with the principle and he has afforded me the utmost respect as have all the members of his staff that I interact with\".
\"People who see me as odd or undesirable, well that is their problem. I know I am a good person and have provided my community with 25 years of loyal service, sometimes under the most difficult of circumstances\".
The bell rings and the parents attention is drawn away from Diane. Children come out yelling and laughing, it is chaos. Diane\'s daughters come running out of the classroom and fly into her arms yelling \"Daddy, Daddy\". Picking up their school bags she says quietly \" you don\'t have to like me, I just want to be treated like a human being\".
END
Names have been changed to protect identity
\'\'Contributed by Yamana (6/16/2004)\'\'
